There is such thing as a functional family!!!

So, J and I packed the kids into the car and headed to Toronto last weekend for a family simcha/celebration. We spent the weekend with our cousins and I came away feeling a buzz of happiness. So happy that these people are in my life. So happy that I am related to them. So happy that my kids have them as an example in their lives. So happy that I have them as an example in my life!

Let me not forget - Thank you to J. This is the part of the family that came with marriage that I am so eternally grateful for. The patriarch of the family is J's grandmother's brother. They have 4 amazing children with wonderful spouses. There are 18 grandchildren between them. With all the differences among the children and grandchildren, there is kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and love between them all. They enjoy the time that they are together and the even spend time ALL together every summer.

We learn by example. I am so glad to have these relatives as an example for myself on how to approach family, raise my children, and care for those around me.

It's Wednesday already and I'm still feeling the high of the weekend. How great is that?

Thank G-d

Last Thursday was a hard day for me. In the morning, I found out that an aquaintance of mine was going through treatment for breast cancer. She is in her mid-late twenties with 2 little kids. I spent a good part of the day crying. I would love to say that it was selfless - that I was thinking of her, her husband, their kids - and that was making me cry. That was definitely part of it. But if I was honest with myself, that wasn't the MAIN part.

I was crying because I felt like I was back to last year when J was diagnosed with Hodgkins. We are now standing on the other side -- looking back at a really hard year and SO grateful for all that we have and all the goodness that we saw in others over the course of the year. He has been "all-clear" since February, and hopefully he will stay that way. But I wasn't crying over the diagnosis. I was crying over the process. How draining the entire experience is - and who am I? I am only the support-system! Imagine how much more difficult it is for the patient! I was amazed at how quickly I could be pulled back, and how helpless I could feel. I only hope that I can be as helpful and thoughtful to this family as people were to us.

In this time leading up to Rosh Hashana, I hope that all those who supported us know that it was their help that made it possible to get through hard days. Some friendships formed at that hard time because people got past their own fears of what to say or do. They just talked and did. It made it easier for us that everything was out in the open and up for discussion. Sometimes when people don't know what to say, they don't say anything and they just mourn. Those who get past that initial fear can see the joy and appreciation you learn when you realize how fragile life is.

Volusion not a friend to their longtime supporters

Good news for all you Volusion users! Increased bandwidth for those who have been with Volusion for a long time.

They just implemented a new pricing structure and have kindly given us loyal supporters additional bandwidth to say "Thank You!". I have been with them since the launch of my online store in 2007. I called to downgrade my plan as I refocus my business. While on the phone with a super-nice customer service agent, he lets me know that I will have to approve the change to the plan structures by e-mail. My current plan allows for 1000 products and 5 GB of bandwidth. They increased my bandwidth to 10GB just because they love me. Oddly enough, new subscribers who sign on with the plan at the same price that I am paying per month will now get 5000 products and 15 GB of bandwidth!!!

I let the very nice CSR know that he should let the "powers that be" know that they should up their current users to the new plans automatically, and he said that most people are just happy for an increase in bandwidth. Well, if they like getting 10GB, imagine how freaking happy they will be to know that they can get 15GB for the same price!!!

The truth is, I'm downgrading. I don't even need the extra products or bandwidth. I just don't think it's the way to go for a company that is on it's way up. I'm a big fan of showing appreciation to the customers that you already have. They are the ones who got you to where you are now... Shouldn't you thank them instead of treating them like sh**?

Just sayin'.

Paying it Forward

I had a wonderful opportunity to pay it forward today.

2 families in our area had babies this week, and I had the opportunity to make them meals. When J was in treatment last year, we had so many people take time and bring us meals to help us get through. There were so many days when I couldn't plan ahead - my brain just wasn't functioning that way. Dinnertime would come and I would be stumped. In the beginning, people helped with so many meals that I rarely had to think about cooking. It helped get me to the next stage. Once I was able to function a bit, some very special people took it upon themselves to organize meals for days when J had treatment. I don't think I could ever properly thank them, but if they are reading this they should just know that they helped me keep my sanity. Every single meal was so appreciated and thoughtful. I am grateful to each person who was so kind to offer.

I was asked to prepare meals. Thank you for asking me. Thank you for allowing me to help give to these families what so many people gave to me.

Thank you.

Going back to school

I've waited almost a week to write this. Little Z started at the "big" school last Tuesday, and the big ones started back on Thursday. Z didn't want to leave at the end of his intro visit -- he wanted to stay and take a nap! What more could you ask for!

My girl has grown up a lot over the summer. There are things that she does that are just so much more mature than last year. I feel like the jump from 7 to 8yrs old is huge and I don't know how ready I am.

My big boy started 1st grade and he is really something special. He has always been very expressive when he speaks and he is very in touch with the emotions that different events or experiences bring out in him. The first thing he told me when I asked about his 1st day of school was, "Mommy, that was the best day of my entire life!".

My job here is done.

Until tomorrow.

It hurt me more than it hurt you

I'm the worst patient in the world.

Just putting it out there. I'm sure at least my DH would vouch for me on this one (although I'd rather he didn't).

Today I was even worse than that. I was the worst mother of the worst patient in the world.

My beautiful girl (8yrs. old) had to have her first filling done today. She is not the easiest dental patient in the world, but she was extremely brave when the dentist froze her mouth. I, of course, was not there yet (DH and I split up kid-drop-off duties). She may have been amazing had her Dad stayed with her instead of me. They sense my fear. They know that I will jump to their defense and try and bite off the head of He-who-is-causing-them-pain. Not that their Dad won't defend them when necessary, he just doesn't fall for most of their crap like I do.

As tears were running down her face, I was practically *begging* the dentist (our uncle) to take it easy on her. Of course he was. He loves her. But I had to hide my face and not speak for fear that she would see my weakness. Tears were streaming down my own face.

When we left, I took her to pick out whatever she wanted from a magazine store: a teeny-bopper magazine, an Archie comic... things I would NEVER let her near usually. The guilt. What did she choose? A Search-and-Find book (kinda like Where's Waldo) and a Hershey's cookbook.

How did I get so lucky?

Saying goodbye to friends

I had a very sad and bizarre afternoon.

I said goodbye to friends who are moving back to Israel.

One couple has been visiting for the summer. They have been here ALL summer, and aside from running into them at the supermarket, I was a horrible friend and did not manage to snag any face time with them the entire time they were here. They are the type of friends that feel more like relatives. They are the cousins that I love spending time with, but somehow, I always know that our family connection will bring us back together eventually. Only we aren't related. They are family because they FEEL like family to us. They will be missed.

The other couple has been a part of our lives for the last few years and has touched our lives. Not because of the amount of time we have spent together, but because of how we feel about each other. When I hugged my friend goodbye, I really felt so sad to be losing her presence here. I am so glad that she and her family came into our lives. I'm honoured to have been a part of their lives for the last few years, and I look forward to maintaining our friendship no matter how far apart we are.

Nesiah tova!