Thank G-d

Last Thursday was a hard day for me. In the morning, I found out that an aquaintance of mine was going through treatment for breast cancer. She is in her mid-late twenties with 2 little kids. I spent a good part of the day crying. I would love to say that it was selfless - that I was thinking of her, her husband, their kids - and that was making me cry. That was definitely part of it. But if I was honest with myself, that wasn't the MAIN part.

I was crying because I felt like I was back to last year when J was diagnosed with Hodgkins. We are now standing on the other side -- looking back at a really hard year and SO grateful for all that we have and all the goodness that we saw in others over the course of the year. He has been "all-clear" since February, and hopefully he will stay that way. But I wasn't crying over the diagnosis. I was crying over the process. How draining the entire experience is - and who am I? I am only the support-system! Imagine how much more difficult it is for the patient! I was amazed at how quickly I could be pulled back, and how helpless I could feel. I only hope that I can be as helpful and thoughtful to this family as people were to us.

In this time leading up to Rosh Hashana, I hope that all those who supported us know that it was their help that made it possible to get through hard days. Some friendships formed at that hard time because people got past their own fears of what to say or do. They just talked and did. It made it easier for us that everything was out in the open and up for discussion. Sometimes when people don't know what to say, they don't say anything and they just mourn. Those who get past that initial fear can see the joy and appreciation you learn when you realize how fragile life is.