There is such thing as a functional family!!!

So, J and I packed the kids into the car and headed to Toronto last weekend for a family simcha/celebration. We spent the weekend with our cousins and I came away feeling a buzz of happiness. So happy that these people are in my life. So happy that I am related to them. So happy that my kids have them as an example in their lives. So happy that I have them as an example in my life!

Let me not forget - Thank you to J. This is the part of the family that came with marriage that I am so eternally grateful for. The patriarch of the family is J's grandmother's brother. They have 4 amazing children with wonderful spouses. There are 18 grandchildren between them. With all the differences among the children and grandchildren, there is kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and love between them all. They enjoy the time that they are together and the even spend time ALL together every summer.

We learn by example. I am so glad to have these relatives as an example for myself on how to approach family, raise my children, and care for those around me.

It's Wednesday already and I'm still feeling the high of the weekend. How great is that?

Thank G-d

Last Thursday was a hard day for me. In the morning, I found out that an aquaintance of mine was going through treatment for breast cancer. She is in her mid-late twenties with 2 little kids. I spent a good part of the day crying. I would love to say that it was selfless - that I was thinking of her, her husband, their kids - and that was making me cry. That was definitely part of it. But if I was honest with myself, that wasn't the MAIN part.

I was crying because I felt like I was back to last year when J was diagnosed with Hodgkins. We are now standing on the other side -- looking back at a really hard year and SO grateful for all that we have and all the goodness that we saw in others over the course of the year. He has been "all-clear" since February, and hopefully he will stay that way. But I wasn't crying over the diagnosis. I was crying over the process. How draining the entire experience is - and who am I? I am only the support-system! Imagine how much more difficult it is for the patient! I was amazed at how quickly I could be pulled back, and how helpless I could feel. I only hope that I can be as helpful and thoughtful to this family as people were to us.

In this time leading up to Rosh Hashana, I hope that all those who supported us know that it was their help that made it possible to get through hard days. Some friendships formed at that hard time because people got past their own fears of what to say or do. They just talked and did. It made it easier for us that everything was out in the open and up for discussion. Sometimes when people don't know what to say, they don't say anything and they just mourn. Those who get past that initial fear can see the joy and appreciation you learn when you realize how fragile life is.

Volusion not a friend to their longtime supporters

Good news for all you Volusion users! Increased bandwidth for those who have been with Volusion for a long time.

They just implemented a new pricing structure and have kindly given us loyal supporters additional bandwidth to say "Thank You!". I have been with them since the launch of my online store in 2007. I called to downgrade my plan as I refocus my business. While on the phone with a super-nice customer service agent, he lets me know that I will have to approve the change to the plan structures by e-mail. My current plan allows for 1000 products and 5 GB of bandwidth. They increased my bandwidth to 10GB just because they love me. Oddly enough, new subscribers who sign on with the plan at the same price that I am paying per month will now get 5000 products and 15 GB of bandwidth!!!

I let the very nice CSR know that he should let the "powers that be" know that they should up their current users to the new plans automatically, and he said that most people are just happy for an increase in bandwidth. Well, if they like getting 10GB, imagine how freaking happy they will be to know that they can get 15GB for the same price!!!

The truth is, I'm downgrading. I don't even need the extra products or bandwidth. I just don't think it's the way to go for a company that is on it's way up. I'm a big fan of showing appreciation to the customers that you already have. They are the ones who got you to where you are now... Shouldn't you thank them instead of treating them like sh**?

Just sayin'.

Paying it Forward

I had a wonderful opportunity to pay it forward today.

2 families in our area had babies this week, and I had the opportunity to make them meals. When J was in treatment last year, we had so many people take time and bring us meals to help us get through. There were so many days when I couldn't plan ahead - my brain just wasn't functioning that way. Dinnertime would come and I would be stumped. In the beginning, people helped with so many meals that I rarely had to think about cooking. It helped get me to the next stage. Once I was able to function a bit, some very special people took it upon themselves to organize meals for days when J had treatment. I don't think I could ever properly thank them, but if they are reading this they should just know that they helped me keep my sanity. Every single meal was so appreciated and thoughtful. I am grateful to each person who was so kind to offer.

I was asked to prepare meals. Thank you for asking me. Thank you for allowing me to help give to these families what so many people gave to me.

Thank you.

Going back to school

I've waited almost a week to write this. Little Z started at the "big" school last Tuesday, and the big ones started back on Thursday. Z didn't want to leave at the end of his intro visit -- he wanted to stay and take a nap! What more could you ask for!

My girl has grown up a lot over the summer. There are things that she does that are just so much more mature than last year. I feel like the jump from 7 to 8yrs old is huge and I don't know how ready I am.

My big boy started 1st grade and he is really something special. He has always been very expressive when he speaks and he is very in touch with the emotions that different events or experiences bring out in him. The first thing he told me when I asked about his 1st day of school was, "Mommy, that was the best day of my entire life!".

My job here is done.

Until tomorrow.

It hurt me more than it hurt you

I'm the worst patient in the world.

Just putting it out there. I'm sure at least my DH would vouch for me on this one (although I'd rather he didn't).

Today I was even worse than that. I was the worst mother of the worst patient in the world.

My beautiful girl (8yrs. old) had to have her first filling done today. She is not the easiest dental patient in the world, but she was extremely brave when the dentist froze her mouth. I, of course, was not there yet (DH and I split up kid-drop-off duties). She may have been amazing had her Dad stayed with her instead of me. They sense my fear. They know that I will jump to their defense and try and bite off the head of He-who-is-causing-them-pain. Not that their Dad won't defend them when necessary, he just doesn't fall for most of their crap like I do.

As tears were running down her face, I was practically *begging* the dentist (our uncle) to take it easy on her. Of course he was. He loves her. But I had to hide my face and not speak for fear that she would see my weakness. Tears were streaming down my own face.

When we left, I took her to pick out whatever she wanted from a magazine store: a teeny-bopper magazine, an Archie comic... things I would NEVER let her near usually. The guilt. What did she choose? A Search-and-Find book (kinda like Where's Waldo) and a Hershey's cookbook.

How did I get so lucky?

Saying goodbye to friends

I had a very sad and bizarre afternoon.

I said goodbye to friends who are moving back to Israel.

One couple has been visiting for the summer. They have been here ALL summer, and aside from running into them at the supermarket, I was a horrible friend and did not manage to snag any face time with them the entire time they were here. They are the type of friends that feel more like relatives. They are the cousins that I love spending time with, but somehow, I always know that our family connection will bring us back together eventually. Only we aren't related. They are family because they FEEL like family to us. They will be missed.

The other couple has been a part of our lives for the last few years and has touched our lives. Not because of the amount of time we have spent together, but because of how we feel about each other. When I hugged my friend goodbye, I really felt so sad to be losing her presence here. I am so glad that she and her family came into our lives. I'm honoured to have been a part of their lives for the last few years, and I look forward to maintaining our friendship no matter how far apart we are.

Nesiah tova!

I think I deserve a medal!

School supplies purchased. Kids labelled everything (it was their idea of a fun treat!).

I'm ready for them to go to school.

Now we just wait another 2 weeks...

Born Free Gift-Set Contest @ the TickleBlog!

Head over to the TickleBlog to enter the contest to win a Born Free Gift Set:

EDITOR’S NOTE: CONTEST WILL BE EXTENDED UNTIL FRIDAY, AUGUST 14TH, 2009!!!

We are excited to be running a contest for a Born Free gift set.

The gift set includes:
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Contest rules:

- comment on this post.
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- join tickletickleinc or ticklemom on Twitter – or both, for extra entries – and come back here to post a message and let us know!

This contest is limited to Canadian and US residents. You will be contacted via the e-mail address left on your blog post.

Now we try to change our eating habits

I've always felt that I needed something to give me that extra "push" to start eating better. Over time, I have changed over to whole grain breads and pastas, even sneaking them into meals that my Monkeys will all eat. My problem has always been sweets. (Here's where I blame my upbringing...) I often use food as a reward. For myself and the kids. Toilet training involved candy. Going to shul involves candy. Being a good listener involves candy. I did make an effort with our eldest - she got to choose a book at the bookstore when she finished her first reward chart. It was all downhill from there.

After the dentist fiasco yesterday, I decided that we have to start limiting the crappy food that goes into our bodies. All of us. So I went to the supermarket and bought an INSANE amount of groceries that look good when fresh. The only problem is, most of the great ideas that I get while grocery shopping are fleeting. Gone. As soon as I walk in the door and put the food away.

I think I'll go make a menu. Any suggestions?

They figured out the truth!!! Run for cover!

I had a life-altering experience today. Ok, not life-altering, but definitely something that makes me question my sanity at ever having decided to have children.
Something you dread as a parent, but you know that it's inevitable. You just hope they won't figure it out until MUCH later. Or ever.

My beautiful daughter, at 8 years old, has figured out that we, her parents, have no actual control over her.

(Please give me a minute here. I hear shrieking in my head. Wait. That's me!)

We took the kids to the dentist. The Boy (6 yrs. old) and The Monkey (3 yrs. old) were wonderful. Didn't want to participate, but they did it anyway.

Then The Girl got into the dentist chair. She wouldn't let him check her teeth. Finally, we tickled her mouth open a bit and lo-and-behold - a cavity! Then, she wouldn't let him polish her teeth. I had to take her to a different room and have a talk with her. "He will be gentle, but you have to let the dentist clean your teeth so they don't all rot and give you stinky breath and fall out until you look like an old hag out of some Brothers Grimm story." Phew. It worked. She got back in the chair and whined through the cleaning.

By the way, did I mention that the dentist is our uncle. Just sayin. Must have felt good to be him today.

Where did the world come crashing down for me? When he tried to put fluoride on her teeth. Just to be clear, this is the easiest part of the checkup. He uses his finger and just rubs the fluoride onto the teeth, leaves it there for 1 minute, then rinses it off. She wouldn't do it. She screamed, cried, escaped!!! She got off the chair and left the room and would not come back!

Did I mention that the dentist is our uncle. Just checking.

What do we do now? Any suggestions would be most appreciated. Please leave your comments to help us deal with this.

We go back to the dentist on Tuesday for the filling. What are the chances...

Summer Days

The 2 big kids are home from camp. The weather has been beautiful these last 2 days. There is nothing better than some sunshine and playing.

The dinner that they ate...

My kids have never been co-operative eaters. From the day I first gave N her first spoonful of rice cereal, she knew that mealtime just wasn't her thing. The boys both can be good eaters when they want to be, but they tend to never want what is offered at a meal. I have learned to not worry if they don't eat at every meal - average off the week and hope for the best.

Tonight was special.

I decided to make falafel with all the salads cut up, and let them take for themselves. I didn't expect it to work. There were magic forces present this evening though, and all 3 of my
children were well fed and happy!

What a gift!

Sick Kid. Tired parents.

Nothing is as sad a little kid who is so sick that they don't want to move, mutter in their sleep, and have a high fever. It's been a long weekend with very little sleep. But he seems to have turned the corner. He's fully back to making his brother and sister crazy. Thank G-d.

No. I'm not. But thanks for asking.

I have a reverse body image problem. I was always the skinny kid growing up, and I sorta still see myself that way. After 3 kids, not much excercise, and no good eating habits, I'm not so much the skinny kid anymore. In no way am I fat, per se, but I'm definitely on the upper end of a healthy body weight for my height.

It's funny how G-d works though. I think it's a cosmic joke (a very bad joke) that I gain my weight in a way that makes me look like a cute pregnant person. Not fat-pregnant, but "oh, I have a fun little baby-belly" kinda pregnant. Which would, of course be fun and cute if I WAS pregnant. But I'm not. I just always look this way.

I also think that I must make people very comfortable, because a week does not go by (and this is by no means an exaggeration) where SOMEBODY does not ask me when I'm due. I'm not. I'm fat. You're not the first to ask me. I hear it all the time. Don't be embarassed. Stop apologizing. STOP ASKING!

Rule #1 of life - DO NOT ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS PREGNANT UNLESS A BABY IS EMERGING FROM HER BODY AT THAT VERY MOMENT! There are very few ammendments to this rule. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. If you didn't hear it from her or someone close to her, assume she's just getting fat and keep it to yourself.

I'm only venting because I hear it ALL THE TIME and it's tiring me out. I don't feel good about it, but I have no energy to change it at the moment. I always want to, but I haven't found the solution that works for me.

And yes, Nutella is not a diet food. I know.

Playing in the Park

I took little z to the park this morning. He had a great time going up and down the ladders and slides. Across the bridges and looking through the periscope. I felt amazing because: a) it was not pouring rain and he was able to be outside this morning for a bit and b) I had the patience to let him play without feeling like I had to rush home to work.

Then I looked around.

The park is filled with lululemon-wearing moms who ran to the park for their morning jog with their kids in the stroller, giving their kids healthy snacks (that they had the fore-sight to pack) while their seemingly perfect children obeyed everything their moms told them to do. And I just kept reminding myself that a snapshot like this of other peoples' days does not reflect reality (right?). And that I would not give in to the fight that will inevitably ensue later when little z tries to convince me that 5 honey cookies (5 is his favourite quantity when it comes to anything edible) are just the right morning snack for him.

I guess if he drinks a cup of milk with them...

Summer Camp Hell

I was never a lover of the summer camp thing.

I tried day camp. I tried sleep-away camp. I was a home-body.

So why have I become the parent that insists that my kids go to camp?

My eldest needs the social interaction. She doesn't want it, but she needs it. Mr. Middle LOVES everything about it (he gets that from his dad). Little Z is still in day care so we don't need to deal with this for him for a couple of years yet.

N. (eldest) feels that she is done with camp for the summer. 2 weeks was enough for her and she's ready to spend the rest of her 8 year old summer relaxing. I think she should get a job. Child labour never hurt anyone, right?

A big part of me just wants to keep them home with me, only to avoid the rush of the morning. It's the summer. The livin' should be easy and the schedule should be non-existant.

I also know that if they were home with me, I would not be writing this. I would be questioning my sanity at ever having considered keeping them home. They would spend too much time in front of electronic devices and not enough enjoying outside/swimming/friends.

I think I need a double. One to get work done and one to play with the kids.

I guess I better start planning activities...

Coffee and Kids

So, I am that parent that other parents look at and whisper about. They see me with my children and they are critical of me. Not all the time. But yesterday was one of those times. How do I know? My MIL told me. (Thank G-d for MILs!)

Yesterday, I took my Beautiful Girl (almost 8 yrs old) to run a bunch of errands and then we were going to go out for Tea. Since we live in North America, this meant that we were going to a coffee shop. Before we went in, she asked if she could have an iced coffee instead of tea. Basically, she wanted the slushie version of java. Since you can't get this without caffeine, I was hesitant. Then she tells me, "Make sure mine is decaf". I love this girl! I told her that I would get one and she could have a bit of mine, but I wouldn't let her have her own -- too much caffeine. Anyway, the machine wasn't working so we had plain-ol' decaf iced coffees. I felt happy that the caffeine thing became a non-issue.

During my MILs regular suppertime phone call, she tells me a scandalous story about a mom and a little girl that she saw, and the little girl was *SHOCK* drinking an iced-coffee! Could you believe it! How irresponsible of the mom! Caffeine at such a young age!!! Quick - Call child services!!!

LESSON LEARNED: Mom, don't assume that things are what they look like. And I will do my part by making sure that I only let my BG have iced coffee when she is in a foreign country!

Time flies

Did you ever have a day when something on your schedule gets cancelled, it frees you up (which you are excited about) and then the free time passes without you having accomplished anything?

Welcome to my day!

A day with my Beautiful Girl

Today has been an exceptional day, so far (I haven't hit pick-up time with Little Z, which is usually where the day goes downhill). I kept N home from camp today because she had an appointment to be a fit model at this very beautiful children's clothing company. She's done it before and she loves just trying on all the gorgeous, phenomenally high-quality outfits. After the appointment, we went to do some stuff together -- we picked up an activity book at the dollar store, we stopped in at Old Navy to get some camp/school stuff (huge sale happening!), and we went out for "coffee". Without being pulled in a million directions, I was so happy to know that I DO have some patience left in me. I wasn't constantly yelling at her, as I usually am. And I can really see that she is a beautiful person, inside and out. She is as considerate as an 8 year old can be. She is not tremendously independant or interested in a lot of pop-culture (I had suggested going to a magazine store and getting her a magazine, she was the one who wanted to get a puzzle book from the dollar store!), but she is easygoing and willing to come along without complaining. She is truly happy just spending time with me, and the only thing that she vetoed was going to a movie (she has a thing against movie theaters and I don't know why).

Today was a great day, both because of the company, and because I learned that I can be the parent that I originally thought I would be. It seems to work best one kid at a time, but we must remember - baby steps. I think I need to do this Mommy-day thing with the boys too...

Cuddle Kids

When my first child was born, a friend of mine came up with a nickname for both our babies -- they were Cuddle Bunnies. The name kinda stuck. I've never been the type for calling people by lovey-names (Honey, Darling, Shnookums... the names never really did it for me). I figure, if you can't call someone by their name, it's a sign that you have a very bad memory and don't want to risk mistakenly using the wrong monaker -- not so good.

But Cuddle Bunny actually stuck. I knew I would never forget my daughter's name. She's named after my grandmother, an amazing and strong woman. No, I would never forget.

Along came monkey #2 and I caught myself referring to him as a Cuddle Bunny too! For shame! That was monkey #1's name. Since #2 was so huggy and delicious, I decided he would be my Cuddle Bear - he gave the greatest little bear hugs!

When #3 came along, I didn't make the same mistake. I watched his personality and it became clear very quickly that the Cuddle Monkey had officially arrived! He even makes monkey noises and will correct me if I ever make the mistake of calling him a different nickname -- Mister Bum, Stinker, Little Z. I think the personalities get stronger with each passing Cuddler.

My Monkeys

So, I chose to start this blog so I have a place to celebrate, vent and think out loud about all the random stuff that happens in my life. I have an amazing husband and three beautiful children whose ultimate job seems to be to try and see how long it will take me to lose my mind. They are actually amazing little people who I am grateful to have in my life. I just keep reminding myself that the behaviours that make me craziest will serve them well in later life (I would just rather they didn't use them on me!).

I look forward to hearing back from you with stories about your own kids that make you laugh or scream. It helps us all feel a bit more normal to know that we're not alone out there as we go through this parenting thing.